she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
