My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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