so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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