We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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