dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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