birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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