K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
