he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
