I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
