..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
