She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
