You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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