so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
