i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
