i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
