i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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