even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
