Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
