and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
