Sponge bath it is.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
