i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
