That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
did you just send me my own nude
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
