Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
