Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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