I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
