If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
