I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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