Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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