i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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