So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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