Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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