I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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