12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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