She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
