Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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