i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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