I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
