I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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