Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
