your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
