YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So vagazzling was a success
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
