they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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