I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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