So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
