If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
