you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
