So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
