He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
