how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
