I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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